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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
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Chapter 119 - What Winter Left Behind (1)
That memory—
The first glimpse of light ever shown to me.
The responsibility that had bound me.
And perhaps, a shard of a past I once regretted—
Atonement, in the form of willingly stepping into the shackles once more.
At the same time, it was the first memory that soothed my relentless solitude.
"From this day forward... I shall give you a name."
A bloodstained hand, extended forward.
The ground was slick with melted flesh, yet the winter that battered us both numbed even that pain.
Somewhere along the narrowing distance between us, there was liquor—filling the void of an overwhelming loss.
As if intoxicated by the memory, I closed my eyes.
"Your name is—"
I never believed in gods.
And yet, if there was a reason I still spoke of hope, despite my disbelief—
"Neria… Neria Lightney."
Because I couldn’t just walk past you, covered in scars.
Perhaps, under the guise of offering meager kindness, I simply wanted to be forgiven myself.
After all, I had grown into an adult filled only with deceit and lies.
Clutching the frayed sleeve of a childhood long since faded, I could do nothing but feign ignorance and curl my lips into a smile.
So, the words I truly wanted to say were—
"From now on, we are family."
To the star that had suffered the most—
A simple thank you for finding my fallen life once more.
***
"I would advise you… not to call our Vice-Commander by that name."
A murderous chill seeped into the air.
Shadows unfurled in all directions, carrying a weight that pressed upon the surroundings.
—Rumble.
The ground trembled, as if stricken with fear.
Mana across the area was forcibly suppressed.
The once-ornate decorations that adorned the hall trembled, and the guards who had been standing by collapsed unconscious, one by one.
Even though it was merely a release of intent, the entire chamber had turned into a scene of carnage.
I stood at the center of the chaos.
"Guh… Khhh…!"
"S-Someone… help… I can’t… breathe…!"
"…"
Ragged, gasping breaths.
Even the Sovereign’s own elite guards were no exception.
Their faces had gone deathly pale.
Those with lesser resolve had already fallen to their knees, while only the highest-ranked among them—Unknown—managed to remain standing.
Though even he, despite his efforts, had blood dripping from his nose onto the floor.
The sheer difference in power was undeniable.
"My, my… quite the intense reaction."
"Would you like something more intense?"
"I’ll have to decline. I still value my life, after all."
"You’re a terrible liar."
Amidst the turbulent air, the only ones unfazed were the Serpent and the Sovereign.
We merely locked eyes.
Neither of us wavered, not even for a moment.
As my presence loomed like a swirling black storm, the old man, still leaning leisurely against his throne, finally spoke.
Even with death staring him in the face, his head did not bow.
His composure was as infuriating as ever.
"I’d appreciate it if you reined that in. It’s getting hard to breathe."
"And yet, your expression is as relaxed as ever."
"That’s simply a matter of age… Perhaps you should learn to respect your elders a little more?"
"Some elders don’t deserve respect."
"You really do have a response for everything."
"Perhaps you should just keep your mouth shut."
And yet—
The old man only laughed, as if entertained.
A vile creature.
From the very beginning, he never truly cared about that child.
His words were nothing more than a provocation aimed at me.
It was yet another reminder of why I loathed that forked tongue of his.
He responded with ease.
"No need to be so sensitive."
"…"
"I was simply curious, that’s all. It’s been four years since the war, hasn’t it? Having kept her by my side for a decade, I’d say my question was quite reasonable."
"‘Kept’ her, you say… You have no right to use such words."
Kept her.
You had no right to claim such things.
What you did to her in the name of ‘keeping’—
It was nothing more than treating her as a mere chess piece, casting her between blood and tears.
To ‘keep’ something should not carry such a wretched meaning.
For an adult to claim to have kept someone—
It should mean guidance, or protection.
To entrust a piece of yourself to another, and in turn, to take responsibility for the colors they take on.
Like the golden wheat fields the Little Prince had gifted to her fox.
With a sunken voice, I warned him.
"Do not cross the line."
"I merely asked about her well-being. You’re quick to judge another’s sincerity."
"Were you being sincere?"
"Of course not."
—Heheh.
A repulsive chuckle escaped him.
Like a coiled viper, waiting to strike.
"But tell me, do you know? Having absolute certainty in others… is a foolish thing."
"…"
"Humans have no ability to read minds. The person you trusted yesterday could turn on you with a blade tomorrow. That’s why one must trust, but never be certain."
Who was he even speaking to?
His eyes lost focus for a moment as he mumbled with a wry smile.
"Even gods cannot resolve all conflicts, after all."
A cryptic remark.
For the briefest moment, the worn rosary hanging from his neck seemed to glimmer.
I met his sudden sermon with an icy reply.
"Are you trying to lecture me?"
"Consider it advice. I find you quite amusing."
"I wouldn’t trust your words enough to even call them advice."
"How unfortunate."
A nonchalant response.
With that, the tension that had lingered between us finally settled into silence.
The weight of the stillness thickened, coiling around us.
Just as the precarious standoff continued—
—Boom.
A sudden tremor shattered the quiet.
Familiar mana rippled through the air.
‘So, it’s come to this after all.’
I had wanted to keep this from happening.
With a weary sigh, I turned toward the growing commotion.
There was no point in getting irritated now. The damage was already done.
As I braced for what was to come, a frantic pounding echoed against the chamber doors.
From the other side, a panicked voice barely managed to stammer—before it was abruptly cut off.
—"I-It's an attack! Someone has infiltrated the palace—Kugh!"
A chilling warning.
And mere moments later, the reinforced doors burst apart with a deafening explosion.
Dust and debris filled the air as the shockwave spread.
—Boom!
The doors shattered into fragments.
From within the swirling haze, dozens of figures stepped forward.
Each draped in pure white robes.
A frigid wind swept through the chamber.
The corridor behind them was littered with the bodies of guards and sentries.
Leaving behind trails of blood, the intruders made their entrance.
"Master."
At the front stood a young woman.
As she loosened the hood covering her face, silver hair cascaded down in shimmering waves.
Clear, unyielding eyes met mine, and she extended a hand.
"I’ve come to escort you."
"…Neria Lightney."
The Vice-Commander herself.
And the very subject of the old man’s taunts just moments ago.
"What brings you here?"
"I received reports of your arrival in the Kingdom. Out of concern, I followed with a small escort."
"I see."
"If I’ve overstepped, I will accept punishment—"
"There’s no need."
I greeted her with a weary smile.
Her eyes were unreadable.
But as I took her hand, I could feel it—
A faint, barely perceptible tremor.
***
We returned to headquarters.
The necessary conversation had already concluded, so there was no reason to hesitate before leaving.
The Sovereign, too, made no attempt to stop us.
For all his prying and provocations, he had nothing more to say—even after seeing Neria.
All he left behind was a simple farewell, promising we would meet again.
A man whose true intentions remained ever unreadable.
‘How exhausting.’
The way back was simple enough.
Most of the available officers had been gathered, including Lena, one of our key assets.
Thanks to that, we could return swiftly via a portal.
It had been a while since I felt this drained.
Dealing with a viper of a man had left me more on edge than I’d realized.
I took a brief moment to collect my thoughts.
‘Of all times…’
Truthfully—
I hadn’t wanted Neria to hear about any of this.
It was a wound she had yet to fully overcome.
Telling her would have only made her dwell on it.
I had made my choice with her feelings in mind, but in the end, all I was left with was an awkward silence.
I swallowed the needless quiet.
"Master… Are you all right?"
A cautious voice, as if gauging my mood.
Neria.
I answered with my usual smile.
"Of course."
"I’ll ensure the Kingdom takes appropriate measures. Such disrespect cannot be allowed, so we will reinforce our defenses to prevent any future incidents."
"…And you, Miss Neria?"
She blinked.
"I’m not sure I understand."
"I meant the Sovereign. After all, you ended up facing him again—after four years."
"Ah…"
For a moment, she hesitated.
But it seemed she had expected the question.
She quickly steadied herself, erasing any trace of tension.
A response that suited her.
"It doesn’t matter. That’s a distant memory now."
Her voice and expression remained indifferent, cold as ever.
To most, she would seem completely unbothered.
But I had been by her side for far too long not to notice.
She was forcing herself to act unshaken.
Her silver eyes—
Were trembling.
So faintly that even she might not have realized it.
"…"
I watched her in silence.
Neria Lightney.
The first person I had formed a bond with in this world.
The very first member to stand by my side.
Once, she had been part of the Sovereign’s loyal guard—labeled as Disloyal.
And in the original story…
She was destined to be the catalyst for the world's destruction.
A tangled web of thoughts clouded my mind.
Neither of us spoke again.
Only silence stretched between us.
Perhaps it was the weight of old memories creeping in—
Or perhaps, we both simply needed a moment to reflect.
Either way, the chaotic day was finally drawing to a close.
—Scratch, scratch.
That night.
Even as dawn approached, Neria and I remained in the Commander’s office.
Sorting through the backlog of unfinished work.
"…"
Yet, for some reason, it was hard to focus today.
Even as I moved my pen, my mind wandered elsewhere.
Perhaps it was the bitter aftertaste of lingering thoughts.
The Sovereign.
Coming face-to-face with a figure from my past had stirred up memories I had long left behind.
Four years had seemed like such a long time—
Yet recalling those days now, the moments returned with startling clarity.
Disjointed thoughts strung together, one after another, growing heavier with each passing second.
Eventually, I set the documents aside.
"…Miss Neria."
A name, spoken without much thought.
The girl beside me lifted her head.
"You called for me, Master?"
She, too, seemed lost in thought.
By now, the stack of documents should have been finished, yet her progress barely reached halfway.
Beneath her transparent gaze, faint traces of unease lingered.
Of course.
Even if she denied it—
There was no way she could be indifferent.
Too much of her past was tangled in this.
I placed my pen down.
"Would you mind taking a short break?"
"There’s no issue. Is there something you require?"
"Not really… I just thought we could talk for a bit."
"Talk?"
"About the past, I suppose. With everything that happened in the Kingdom today… I’ve had a lot on my mind. And there’s only one person I can share those memories with."
"I see…"
A slight pause—
Then, a quiet nod.
I met her unwavering loyalty with a small smile.
The words that followed carried an old, distant warmth.
"Heh… Where should we begin?"
A story of winter.
The season in which I first found meaning in this world.
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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
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