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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Prøks]
[Proofreader - Kawaii]
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Chapter 36: Were You Crying?
In my dream, I had become Karzan. The long journey of life was flashing by like a spinning lantern.
'What is this now? How absurd.'
No voice came out. I just stood there with my arms crossed, watching those memories.
From a young boy crying after burying his grandfather, I became the street leader guiding other children in search of shelter and food.
By the time I became a young man, I dove into the underworld with those kids, gradually expanding our territory—
Before long, I started making my living by the sword under a man known as 'Daikin the Butcher.'
Then shortly after, I heard news of Daikin's death.
'Things are moving quickly.'
Whether he died from poison or was stabbed in the back when he let his guard down, I couldn't remember the exact cause. It was a world where death came easily.
Anyway, in the dream, I was already on my way to find someone, claiming I would avenge Daikin.
"...You came to me seeking revenge for Daikin?"
"Yes, well, that's right."
"How peculiar."
He was none other than the master of a major organization controlling the underworld in a nearby feudal state.
"What was your relationship with Daikin? Were you sworn brothers?"
"Not particularly. We weren't even that close."
"Then why go this far?"
"What other reason would there be? I owed him a debt, so I'm trying to repay it."
"Well, you're remarkably loyal for someone with the nickname 'Mad Dog.' It doesn't suit you."
"You've got that wrong. I really am crazy."
"Hahaha! Is that so?"
In the underworld, conflict and revenge should only be pursued when you can handle the aftermath. Because I didn't have enough power, I needed to secure backing first.
"Shall I lend you my strength?"
"Borrowing your name will be enough."
"How reliable."
With solid backing, avenging Daikin wasn't difficult.
...However, to break the chain of revenge, I ultimately had to disappear. I already knew this fact.
'That's why I went to him. To ask him to handle the aftermath.'
Revenge is endless. Knowing this, I wanted to escape that spiral of hatred where people kept killing each other.
'I thought about leaving for a foreign country where no one knew me and living quietly.'
Life doesn't always go as planned. The younger brothers who had been with me since our orphan days stubbornly followed me, and I couldn't bring myself to send them back.
In the end, we had to dive into Flanders's underworld once again. It was truly a cursed fate.
"Boss, this place... damn it. It's full of scum."
We settled in a small port city on the outskirts of Flanders.
Though small in scale, it was a strategic transportation hub, and the local underworld was controlled by criminals so powerful and cruel that even the lord couldn't handle them.
They ruled like kings of the underworld, killing and exploiting the powerless without hesitation.
"Let's kill them all. These bastards aren't worth keeping alive."
A city filled with starving people and the stench of rotting fish.
I took over the underworld by cutting off the head of 'Red Beard' and throwing it in the street.
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
"Please tell us your name, benefactor. We will never forget you."
"...I'm Mad Dog Karzan."
"Pardon?"
"Uahahahaha! Why would you ask such a thing, old man!"
Bringing a small peace to the area wasn't particularly difficult.
Over the long, quiet years that followed, I gradually sent back the subordinates who had followed me out of loyalty.
"We've done enough. Now it's time for you to find your own happiness."
The kids who once relied on me, getting beaten up and starving on the streets, now retired to start families or pursue their dreams by boarding ships and carriages.
I watched over those who found new lives and occasionally visited them for drinks.
"Brother, do you remember Orlando?"
"I do. He wasn't cunning enough, always worried me. I should have sent him away sooner."
Those who died without finding peace, I buried them all in my heart.
Orlando, Tammy, Henry, Seobo, Moritz, Joanna... Though their faces had become hazy and hard to remember, keeping their names alive was my way of honoring our bond.
I grew stronger and became an increasingly lonely man. After gaining money and fame, I quietly began supporting orphans.
And then...
"Karzan, what are you so afraid of?"
"..."
What a nostalgic face.
She always looked at me straight on with sparkling eyes. But I could never accept her feelings.
"Don't you love me?"
"Adeline, I'm sorry."
Love? Family?
I was afraid that one day my wife and children would be killed as payment for the debts of blood I had incurred. I was afraid that the smell of blood on my hands would inevitably invite revenge.
Or perhaps I was afraid that my sons and daughters would... end up like the young Karzan who cried while clinging to his parents' shabby corpses, unable to escape poverty.
Ah, that would be unbearable. I wouldn't be able to rest even in death.
I was too afraid of that tragedy to accept her love. Looking back now, it was all fear.
"I understand. I'll leave your side. Take care."
"...Be happy."
I wonder if she's still living well somewhere. She was a wise and strong woman. Surely she must be.
Do I regret it?
'Yes. I do regret it.'
But think about my ending. Letting her go was the right choice, wasn't it?
'...My heart is growing weak. Don't be any more honest than this, Karzan.'
Karzan died long ago, and that moment has already flowed somewhere down the river of time. How pathetic to long for a connection that can never return.
And yet, even so...
"Ah..."
I opened my eyes. Dawn was breaking dimly.
"Damn it."
I rubbed my eyes.
You were crying, Allenvert. How pathetic to shed tears over a mere dream. Isn't it embarrassing?
"What a stupid dream to have."
Just as I decided to go out and check on the underworld, I met the past in my dreams. It’s too strange to be a mere coincidence.
'Come to think of it, this is crazy.'
I'm trying to return to that pit of joy and sorrow that I once desperately wanted to escape.
I drank a glass of water prepared beside the bed. When I opened the window, a cool, salty sea breeze blew in. Seagulls were busily flying and crying in the sky.
"Heheheheheh."
But my mood was still foul.
It wasn't just because of the unsettling dream. I realized that my situation then wasn't much different from my situation now.
‘Verdzig.'
I confirmed that he was the great serpent lurking in this castle. An evil snake that would either devour everything or kill with its venomous fangs.
I still don't have the power to resist that snake. That's fine in itself. My path has only just begun.
'But what am I supposed to do about this humiliation?'
While I act proudly in front of everyone as if I'm going to oppose Verdzig—
When it was just the two of us, I had to perform tricks to avoid provoking too much anger from him.
And Verdzig wasn't the kind of man who wouldn't notice this fact.
'How amusing and pathetic must my struggling have seemed to him.'
The mask he gave me was like a tip given to a jester who had performed an amusing trick.
'If you think you can keep looking down on me like that, that's a fucking huge mistake.'
Karzan and Allenvert's circumstances are different. Having been born with a ducal bloodline, it would be stupid not to take advantage of that opportunity.
I am no longer the underworld thug from the bottom who lost to the Dark King. Nor am I the wolf of the night who lived without knowing daylight.
'I will be one who shines brilliantly with golden light while hiding the truth in the shadows that light creates.'
And thus, I too shall become as powerful as the Dark King.
'You keep sitting on that throne. One day, I'll ask you personally how it feels to be stabbed by the blade of the man you killed.'
I will take everything from the Dark King and bring about his downfall. Along with that, I planned to break Verdzig's pride, who acted just like the Dark King. Painfully so.
'For that, I must first survive in this den called Castle Grunewald.'
Verdzig was a man who could kill me at any time. I confirmed that yesterday.
What must I do to compete for power with a brother who would willingly become a kinslayer if necessary?
'Either kill him first, or become so strong he wouldn't dare try.'
There is one unchanging fact. Only one person can become the head of the family. I have no intention of yielding that position to anyone.
'Simple. Just have to defeat all my brothers.'
It's welcome news that the method of obtaining the power of a great duchy is this simple.
Of course, there was much to be done for that. Naturally, I needed to gain the family head's trust and gather the support of the vassals...
'Above all, I need to build overwhelming skill.'
If I could master all the family's martial arts, that alone would give me considerable legitimacy.
'It won't be easy.'
The strength of Verdzig that I witnessed first hand was difficult to measure. Even Karzan from my past life might have questioned whether he could kill him.
But how can the height of the mountain be a reason for despair?
"Peter!"
At my call, Peter came running to the bedroom, rubbing his sleepy eyes.
"Yes! You called?"
"Let's go train."
"Understood."
Peter, who followed me without a word, asked.
"Um, young master."
"What."
"Were you crying? Your eyes are red..."
"Shut up."
"Yes."
* * *
The dawn air blowing from the sea is cold.
I stood in the misty training ground and swung my sword aimlessly. Cutting the fog, thrusting at the fog, withdrawing my sword from the fog.
Whoosh! Swish!
I adjusted my movements while listening to the sound of the sword cutting through the wind.
'Compared to Karzan's body, the arms and legs are a bit longer, and the hands are bigger too. But flexibility is still far lacking.'
My body had changed, and because of that, I had lost almost all of my strength from my past life.
So to adapt my body to the sword, I had no choice but to swing it again and again, engraving its weight and length into my being.
Forgetting Karzan's sword for a moment, I thought about the royal guards' training I had seen the day before yesterday. I tried to copy their movements.
It wasn't a difficult task. After all, I had stolen countless sword techniques, spear techniques, and combat techniques.
How much time had passed?
"Hey, over there..."
"How strange. This early?"
"Look at the sweat. He must have been out here for quite a while."
Before I knew it, I could hear the voices of the royal guards who had come out for morning training. I closed my ears and continued swinging my sword.
'Repeating basic movements is easy.'
But enduring that endless tedium is difficult.
"My, such orthodox sword strikes."
"Did he watch us training?"
"It's as clean as if he learned from an instructor."
"They say he awakened his sword energy through self-study in just a week, indeed..."
"No, wait. Wasn't that movement just now a bit different?"
"How strange. Did he adapt it?"
Royal guards are soldiers but fundamentally martial artists. They could see the principles hidden in the simplicity of my movements.
'Well, this is noisy.'
I could hear sounds of admiration coming from here and there.
"Hey, who said you could slack off during training?"
"We're sorry!"
"Pathetic. From tomorrow, anyone who comes out later than the young master will have their leave restricted."
"Whaaaat?"
Just then, at the guard captain's stern command, I grabbed hold of my focus that had almost cracked and slowly swung my sword again.
That's when it happened.
'Huh? This is something...'
I felt a tingling sensation in my fingertips and heart as if I was about to realize something.
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HELHEIM SCANS
[Translator - Prøks]
[Proofreader - Kawaii]
Join our Discord for release updates!
https://discord.com/invite/dbdMDhzWa2
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